Romantic Comedies Suck
by KatyKalamity
Summary: Slightly AU. Post War. Draco/OC/Harry, Ron/Hermione/Lavender. Love triangles galore. And stuff. R and R


**Author's Note: Well I'm excited for this story, because I basically LOOOOVE Draco and any coupling. Except for him with Pansy. She's gross. :D Inspiration struck and well…you know how that goes. So…this is slightly AU too…**

**Let me set the scene: the Final War is over. Voldy lost, of course. But Draco came to fight for the Order. But that doesn't mean he gets along with everyone. But when a new student comes to Hogwarts, he may have to enlist the Golden Trio's help. Or kill them.**

**Pairings: Draco/OC, Harry/OC, Hermione/Ron/Lavender, Neville/Luna, **

**Chapter One: Completely Untouchable**

Demitria Scorpius was a novelty, in and of itself. Her pitch black hair hung to the small of her back, her creamy, ivory skin made her piercing blue eyes that much more icy, and she possessed the body of a Muggle model. And she was a pureblood. Draco Malfoy narrowed his eyes at the gorgeous girl. She was indeed a rare sight to behold. She was easily sexy, incredibly smart, impossibly witty. She was anything and everything Draco could ever ask for in a girlfriend. There was one, teensy problem.

She was a Gryffindor.

And she was dating the Chosen One.

Draco narrowed his eyes at the couple across the room, sharing chaste kisses over breakfast. Even Weasel had the decency to look uncomfortable. Mudblood looked annoyed. But as Harry kissed Demitria's temple innocently, she locked her icy eyes onto a set of cold, silver ones. She winked.

Draco really didn't have much to dislike about Harry, Ron, and Hermione now that the war was over. He had inadvertently come over to the right side before the war was over and helped kill a nice heap of his own Death Eaters. But him and the Golden Trio would never be the best of friends. Merely acquaintances. Nothing more.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was jealous of Potty. Not that any self-respecting Malfoy would ever admit that out loud. So he didn't. He kept that to the confines of his mind. He wasn't jealous of all the glory he was getting, far from it. He was jealous that he had Scorpia. Draco Malfoy always got what he wanted, and this time it was going to be extremely difficult.

He already had Demitria. But he wanted her exclusively. (But relax, we'll get to that later)

But he had made a vow with Harry almost a month ago, back when school had just started.

_Flashback._

"_Truce, mate," Potter said, holding out a cut and bleeding hand. _

"_Excuse me?" Draco said, stepping backwards for good measure. _

"_Just shake my damn hand, Malfoy," Harry said, exasperated. _

"_Clean it first," Draco said, pointing at it and pulling a disgusted face. _

_Harry waved his wand at his hand and Draco shook it. _

"_Truce, then Potty." _

"_Don't do anything to provoke me and I won't do anything to provoke you."_

"_Yeah yeah."_

As much as Draco regretted it now, he couldn't just break that truce. Harry had dirt on Draco, dirt that could get him kicked out of Malfoy Manor and out of the Malfoy family for good. Draco was just not going to give up his inheritance. He stood up angrily and stalked out of the Great Hall.

"What's your hurry?" a low, darkly attractive voice said from behind him. Draco whirled around to see Demitria Scorpius, strutting only the way a Malfoy should toward him.

"Just needed air," Draco said nonchalantly, hoping that sounded cooler out loud than it did in his head.

"Me too," she answered flippantly, and followed him out to the grounds. She and Draco walked in silence, perfectly aware that they were completely alone. After approximately ten minutes of walking in silence, Demitria spoke.

"Do you want me, Draco?"

Malfoy closed his eyes at the sound of his first name coming from her lips. Of course he wanted her. More than anything in the entire world.

"Nope." He said, resuming walking.

Demitria seemed to sense the lies. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to the wall of the castle. "So if I did this," she stood against him, chest to chest, her hot breath against his neck, their legs almost tangled. "You would feel nothing?"

Draco's heart went into a frenzy.

Draco swallowed. Hard. "Nothing," he managed. Demitria placed her delicate white hands on his waist and lightly ran her fingers over his belt buckle, as though examining the snake on it. Draco almost choked. "Absolutely nothing."

"Good," she said, walking again. "Because I really like Harry, and –"

The second Potter's name left her lips, Draco had her in the same position she had him only moments before. He put his fingers through her belt loops and pulled her hips roughly to his. He lowered his lips to her ear.

"Don't ever say his name like that again," he whispered dangerously. Demitria glared up at him through her thick eyelashes.

"Or what?" she challenged. She placed her cool hands around Draco's face. "Are you jealous?" she asked, running her hands down his face to his neck, then his strong chest, down his abs. When she reached his belt buckle again, Draco seized her wrists.

"None of that," he said tauntingly. He leaned down to her neck and kissed it gently, feeling her breathing stop against his shoulder. "Tell me you like me more," he said, kissing under her ear.

She faltered and swayed, but Draco held her up. "Never," she said.

Draco had to admire her resolve. But still, this had to end now. He kissed his way up her neck and finally sucked lightly on her lower lip, letting her wrap her arms around his neck to stay upright.

"I like you…more," she whispered when he let go of her. Her lips were bruised and her pale cheeks flushed.

"As it should be," he said, leaving her dazed.

He left for Potions, running his tongue over his lips and tasting the cinnamon-esque taste of Demitria, taking the long way down to the dungeons. He wondered if he could possibly steal Demitria from Potty without getting cursed into oblivion. But after a while, Draco let his mind wander to the alternative. What if he just left him and Demitria as purely physical? That was a wonderful thought.

Draco congratulated himself on a plan well thought up. He sauntered into Potions class five minutes late. He nodded at Professor Snape and looked around the room. The only free seat was at a table that contained Potty and Demitria.

Great.

As Demitria reached for a caterpillar, her smooth hand lightly brushed Draco's and he wrenched it away. He smirked a little. When she reached up to drop the chopped up caterpillars into the cauldron, and Harry looked away, he brushed his hand lightly across her upper thigh. She shivered a little.

"Don't touch me when I'm working," she whispered urgently in his ear. Weasel raised an eyebrow.

Draco reached over and squeezed her knee and watched in satisfaction as she jumped. When Harry stood up to go get some rat spleens, she put her hand on his thigh and started moving it. Up…up…until Draco caught her hand.

"You know what? When we're using knives, we're both completely untouchable. Got it?"

**Author's Note: Do you like it? Or not. Tell me! Review even if you hate it.**


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